Chimp Chat

Bite me!

My son got expelled from daycare yesterday. He is what is known as a "serial biter." 

(He is also a "cereal biter" -- mostly Cheerios, Wheetabix and Peanut Butter Bumpers -- although they haven't filed any formal complaints.)

It all started last Tuesday. He bit a child and we were called to come take him home. Then a couple days later, he bit THREE MORE TIMES -- not aggressively, not in self-defense, just biting (hence the serial biter label). He was suspended for a day and we were told that he was at risk of being expelled.

Looking back, we should have just withdrawn him then because there was no way that he was going to just miraculously NOT bite ever again. Thinking that you can TEACH a 17-month-old to not bite over the course of a weekend is like believing that, with enough brushing, you can train naturally curly hair to feather just like Dorothy Hamill's hair. For days, my stomach was in knots while he was at daycare and every time the phone rang, my heart stopped.

Yesterday, he bit again.

Last night, I was in tears, trying to be grateful for all good stuff. At least he is healthy. At least I am not a single parent. At least it's a normal behavior. At least...

At the same time, I am disturbed by the duplicity of the primary victim's mother... she immediately began pushing the director to remove Emmett from the daycare while at the same time, sweetly telling me that she understood, that she wasn't angry, that she knew Emmett was a good boy and she wasn't worried about it. I had no idea she was being so deceptive.

There is some good that has come out of the whole thing: Emmett will be going to another daycare that actually addresses the biting -- and most kids at his age will try biting at some point -- and doesn't cave to the pressure of parents.

All these event will make us better parents, unify our family and force us to address some larger parenting decisions, like whether there a specific discipline philosophy we want to adopt, or how we'll treat the parents of children that Emmett has negative interactions with, etc. Becoming the parent you want to be is an evolution. I realize that this other mother just wants to do what's best for their child, but I think it is equally important to avoid fear-based parenting. I am sure this is just the first of many challenges we will encounter as Emmett grows up.

Parent Hacks

I love Parent Hacks -- it is so addictive. Yesterday I read all the painter's tape ideas and ran home to tell B about how we can make roads for the Matchbox cars he just got from his mom's attic. He was non-plussed. In the comments, someone showed this idea for murals, and I wigged out. Who knew it could look so cool.

And my other obsession is to make a bunch of papier mache masks and/or animal heads to use to decorate the homestead. Like Georgia O'Keefe doing rogue taxidermy,funky and primitive. Probably more like this. I mean, my idea is, if  you want it, make it out of papier mache and you've got it. Trays, a small step stool, containers... whatever.

Anyway, I think the last time I actually made a bunch of something was...uh... never. So realistically, I should aim to create just one or two.

(image from straydogdesigns.com)

My idea: Quickie veneers

In terms of the scandal over the Olympic opening ceremonies little girl swap-r-oo... I would have simply suggested that they rush the child considered less comely to a cosmetic dentist and slap on some cute kid-sized veneers.

I think the worst part is that the stand in didn't necessarily know she wasn't hearing her own voice singing. At least that is what I read. Is that possible? Probably... I mean, I often believe that I sound as good as the recording that I am loudly accompanying.

What's funny is that while watching the ceremony, B and I were saying, sincerely, "I don't thing there such a thing as an unattractive Chinese child."  And I honestly think that Yang Peiyi is a cutie -- I'd adopt her! (I know, that is a very un-PC joke... how do you know it's a joke... well I couldn't adopt any Chinese child because I am on antidepressants... so there!)

And now that I think on it, while I was watching the drummers and tai chi dudes, I noticed that they were all very attractive. Did they kick out any freakish looking performers  in order to to keep everyone "flawless in image, internal feelings and expression." I'll bet at the very least, they told the camera operators to avoid anyone with facial blemishes or less than ideal features.

(image from http://www.timesonline.co.uk)

Superhero cape

I have been working on a superhero cape for Emmett. I had grand plans to make it double sided, with his initial appliquéd on one side and maybe a star on the other. But in the end, limited time forced me settle for one-sided.

I'll add a picture to this post later so you can see that it is purdy darn cute, but my "pattern" does require some tweaking. As B says "Um, it is kind of man-sized."

My pipe dream is to refine the pattern, crank them out and sell them on Etsy. I have this idea that they could be flipped around to serve as art smocks or giant lobster bibs too, making them multi-purpose. I hate sewing on silky, slippery fabrics, but it will be more super if they are slickery. In the current fabric -- cotton broadcloth -- it kind of gets hung up on your shirt unless you are running full speed around the house, arms spread eagle, while yelling "whooooooosh."

Remember the "Rules"?

I was and still am a believer in the Ellen Fien's book, The Rules. Well, most of the rules anyway. I never wore high heels and skimpy outfits. But the playing it "hard to get" part (well, with certain nuances), I'm on board with that. 

I know people say that the whole concept is manipulative -- but I disagree. Still, I don't know that it was The Rules that necessarily hooked me my handsome, emotionally available man. I think it was my self-love (no, not that kind!) that ultimately won him over. So to work the rules, you really have to love yourself first and foremost.

Rules girls... check this out.

Sheepish

I signed up to receive an email alert when a sex offender moves into my ZIP code. Lately lots have been relocating to the area, so the emails have been more frequent. I try to hold off and look at them at home -- but I don't get much chance to check email at home -- and so my curiosity finally gets me. Only thing is, the email features an enormous mug shot of the person. Opening it, I suspect everyone in the office can spot the image, which makes me feel weird. I glance at the photo and the address and quickly close the email -- I don't want to be even digitally connected with this person.

Luckily, it's a pretty big ZIP code, and so far, none have moved onto my street. But if they did... no welcome basket!!

Thanks everyone!

I appreciate the comments on my previous post about scary words. There is nothing worse than asking your readers -- real or imagined -- to join in your so-called conversation, only to be greeted by this sad sight at the end of a post: Comments (0).

But thanks to those that commented, I'm walking on air today!

Brule's Rules

I like this site... I mean, it was pure brilliance to put all the rules of thumb (rule of thumbs?) in a single place.

And if you are interested in getting healthy, Dr. Steve Brule is your man. Here are some simple tips that can make a big difference. Just one look at his complexion, and you can tell he's on to something. For your health!

An admission

I have been thinking a lot about particular words that make me anxious. These are words I constantly tell myself that I need to look up in my dictionary -- but then I usually forget them and so I never learn what they mean.

I would never use these stress-inducing words. Or perhaps they make me cringe because I know I misused them in the past. In some instances, I am not totally clueless, but just a bit hazy about the meaning of th word, so my anxiety is mild. If used in a conversation, these words could trigger a total mental shutdown and I might end up trying to divert attention with a fart joke.

So here is the start of my list:

Marxist
hectoring
prosaic (I know, I should know that one!)
didactic
Heuristic
profane
obsequious
doctrine
holistic
praxis
Teutonic
dogma

I'll add to the list as I encounter more words. Please, please, pleas share your anxiety-provoking words here too!

Bloggers block

I have been struggling with some major blog writing block and find myself trying to come up with topics and interesting insights to post about. In my personal experience, these are some things I need to do to get unblocked:

1. post every day without getting hung up on the topic
2. keep it short
3. be real
4. if you get stuck, link to stuff

So, anyway I stumbled on this and this post on Bad Language and with some additional ideas on overcoming my block that I thought were helpful. But some of them are geared for serious bloggers. And here I am, after 250 posts, still feeling like I just stuck my toe into this blogging thing.

I think the bottom line is that I never feel like a standard anything -- for example, I don't consider myself a "real" blogger, a "real" freelance copywriter, a "real" artist, etc., etc.